advice.

I've been going through a rough patch. A very rough patch. And as much advice I give to my other friends, I can't seem to take it myself. I don't know what to do and I could really use help. Or maybe I need to stop thinking about other people and think about what I deserve. Its way harder than it seems. I can't forget the past, how things used to be and how different things are now. I hate it. Considering one of my biggest fears is forgetting and change. I feel as if I'm living in a dream, its weird. I have to remind myself every day that things are different and not how they were before. It makes me uncomfortable to be where I am. Right now I'm just full of so much anger and frustration and sadness, I don't know what to do with it. I don't know how to control how I feel. Everything hurts me & upsets me and I don't know why. I need to figure out what is important and I need to figure out who I am but I have no idea how to do it. I'm heading down a bad road though so I guess I should figure it out soon. Just people lately seem to be so rude and mean. I don't understand why nobody cares to listen. I don't know who my friends are anymore. Generally, it would be a lot easier if I could still live with my family. Theres been a lot of changes recently and its a lot harder than I thought it would be. I never thought itd be so hard being away from my mom and living in someone elses house. I've realized all the things I used to do at home, I'm really uncomfortable doing here. I miss a lot of stuff. Its bringing me down, constantly thinking about everything I miss. Guh. I've watched more movies than ever lately to keep me busy. I guess I should go out and see people but I can't think of anyone that I can go to whenever I want. Or someone that is always there to talk. Besides my mom, but I can't see her much. Anyways, I'm starting to rant. This post really has no topic, just needed to blurb about issues. If you're getting annoyed by it, just stop reading. I think I need to go away for another week with my mom or something. I don't even care where it is. I wish everything didn't cost so much dang money ugh. Anyways, that's my rant today. If you have any advice, let me know.

-Kelso.