personal gain.

The way I see it is, people create relationships with eachother for the purpose of their own personal gain. Whether it be to make you feel better, to get you discounts, to meet other people, to buy you things, for pleasure, for help in school, to get a job, someone to hang out with when no one else is available etc. etc. Whatever it is, Its very rare to find someone that understands you & you understand them. Someone that isn't only friends with you for some reason that benefits them. I have a couple of these "good" friends, that I am lucky to have. But truth is, more often then not, people put up masks even with "friends". They make you think they're one type of person and then they turn around and act like something completely different. Or they tell you your best friends, and then treat you like shit. How many people actually care about what happens in your life? The hurt you go through, the joys you feel, or the experiences you have. Honestly. People now are self-centred. No matter how much they say they aren't friends with someone for some reason that gets them ahead, they are lying. Because EVERYONE does it. Don't lie. In some cases its okay, as long as it works both ways, I think. There's people I call my best friends but lately I've been thinking about things like.. do they ever understand how I'm feeling? Am I important enough that if something is going wrong and I need support, they'd come over? Does my opinion matter enough that they don't get mad when I share it with them? If I'm crying or mad do they really care what's hurting me? Do they respect my values? Amongst so many other questions. And what's sad is, there are very few people that I can honestly say they do these things. Why? I ask myself all the time what I did wrong to them to deserve disrespect or being ignored. I know it sounds like I got a little off track with my topic but it isn't at all. Because if you are disrespected or ignored by someone you call a friend, then they obviously want something out of you that isn't a good friendship. Something that just gets them ahead. It just makes me so mad how no one gives a shit about hurting someone or using them or lying to them. Its just low and selfish. What is wrong with people? I am ashamed to live in a world like this & frankly I have had enough of the bull shit.

-Kelso.