hatred.

There is just something I would like to talk about that bothers me quite a bit. I really hate it when people use the word "faggot". Honestly, it makes me so mad. It might be one of the top words i will not tolerate. Today at work someone said it and I asked them not to after but they kept saying it and I got really upset with them. I realized today how much I really hate it. It is incredibly rude, disrespectful, offensive and hurtful. Specially when someone uses it against someone who is gay. It infuriates me. Its a terrible word and I can't believe people can say it without even thinking twice. People that can just say things like that and not care.. make me think twice about them. I'm seriously so upset right now just thinking about it. After the incident at work, I was in a terrible mood. Terrible. I don't really think people understand what it is they're saying and how much it can hurt someone. It bothers me so much. I find it very sad how words like these, that are rude and hurtful, have become such a normal part of a person's vocabulary. It sickens me. Why is that? Why is it that people have no problem saying such discusting words? This among many others, of course. Racial slurs, rude words, name calling etc etc. What is wrong with people? Its like second nature for people to say offensive things, if you know what I mean. Its horrible. Another example would be calling someone fat. This is another problem. You seriously have no idea how that makes a person feel. It makes me mad even when people say the word "fat". SO MAD. Unless you are describing an object of some sort. Don't EVER use that word to describe a person. Its incredibly hurtful. Honestly, I just want to punch the person that says that to someone. Its so mean. Its judgemental and rude. Who do you think you are? Bodies come in millions of different shapes and sizes, because yours looks different than someone else's gives you NO right to judge them or be cruel. Its the same the other way around too. If someone is super skinny, heavier people have no right to make fun of them for that either. I feel like it happens more with skinnier people calling heavier people fat though. Either way, its rude & it hurts. Trust me, it hurts. Don't describe someone like that.. Even if they aren't around to hear it. Racial slurs need to stop, also. What kin of world do we live in where we can't accept differences. I know how that sounds, there's a millions different ways that people are different; culture, race, size, gender, sexuality, values etc. But what I'm talking about is race. I can't stand hearing someone use the "n" word. It makes me just as mad as when people say "faggot". Why must people describe others in that manner..? If you can call other people of your race by their name or whatever you call them by (because obviously you aren't racist to your own race), why is it SO hard to talk to someone from a different race the same? They are people. We are ALL PEOPLE. People, people, people. You get it? Drop the stereotypes of terrorists, or gangsters or whatever other kinds there are. Just stop, please. This is 2010 and its still happening? Why? Seriously ask yourself that. I bet you can't come up with an answer. Why do people use racist comments, why do we make stereotypes, why do we treat people different just because they have a different race. And don't give me some answer like "blah blah people are stupid". Well, yeah that goes without saying. But how about you try to think of an answer that makes sense. There is no reason to be judging someone because of the colour of their skin, or their accent, or their religion, or their country, or their values. NONE. So why? Why does it happen? Why are people called faggots, or fat, or too skinny, or some racial slur? I'd like to know because I can't possibly see a reason for it. Really, it makes me feel discusted, angry, and upset to be a "human" when this is what we've made ourselves into. If you are one of the people that does these things, don't even bother talking to me.

-Kelso.

err.

Hello! I don't really have much to update you with.. besides school being hectic and work being crazy. Of course a whole bunch of OSAP issues, just like always. Blah blah blah. Mom is coming down tomorrow to visit and what not which will be good :) Hmm. Something to talk about.. I am not going to talk about anything in particular. In order for me to say how I feel about something and be able to talk and talk and talk I must be upset or incredibly happy haha. There just isn't anything on my mind so TOO BAD FOR YOU. haha. Just wanted to let you know I'm still alive. So.. hi. Still alive. I'm going to bed. When something comes to mind, you will be the first to know. BYE.

-Kelso.

mom.

Today is Sunday. But I am going to be writing about yesterday and Friday. :) So Friday my mom came up for a visit! A sleepover, actually. I had to work during the day but she picked me up at 5! :) We went to my grandmas for a visit until like.. 8 pm. and then we stopped at the grocery store to get some snacks and headed to my house! We just kinda chilled and planned her birthday party for a bit and then we watched a movie. After the movie we were tired and went to bed lol. I slept on the couch, not happening again for a very long time. Bad sleep. But anyways, so then we got up at 9, thinking we were going to go to the trailer but then we couldn't because Sharon got a cold which sucked but that's okay! We had to go to Rob's and pick him up to take him to work so we did that and then stopped at Timmie's on the way back to get coffee on our way to my grandma's. So we went and visited her and Sharon for a few hours and then we went to my cousin Deb's :) That was fun, it was nice to see her. And her son Carter! So cute. But anyways, then she took me to work after that. And she went home. So that was my night with my maaaa. It was fun :).
It just sucks though because I came home Saturday night to my room and it felt so empty since she had gone home. I realized how far away she is and its hard :( I feel really isolated from my family, it sucks. Its a hard change to go through, I know it sounds weird because students and what not do it all the time when they move out. Maybe its different when you live over an hour away? I don't know. I just know its hard, at least for me. But it was a good night! It was nice to get to spend some time with her :) She always makes me feel better. Just hangin out or talkin about anything, not even whats bothering me, makes me feel better. I just miss seeing her all the time because we always have so much fun together! And my problems are easier to deal with her. My frother! hehe. You probably will not understand that so I apologize for sounding crazy there. Hopefully it will happen more often soon, I wish money grew on trees haha. Wouldn't that be nice.

-Kelso.

first day.

Today was the first day of school! YAY. I'm excited to be back, I've been off for a while (I hate you OSAP, thanks a lot). So now I'm here taking the PSW (Personal Support Worker) program. So far so good. I'll break down my day for you!
So first, I got up at 6 and caught the bus at 6:30 (BUH), getting me here for 7:30. So then I went to my class and sat there for a while until class started. My first class today was supposed to go from 8-11 but we were let out at 9:45 which was awesome. Talked to some people, made a friend haha. Awesome. But yeah so then I had a 2 hours break which I spent in SUB (as always) and Jessie met me there at 11. We wandered after a while looking for a STUPID WATER FOUNTAIN WHICH THERE SEEMS TO BE NONE OF >:|. But we found one. haha. Then he walked with me to class. SOOOO. Next class. Went good, seemed long. It goes from 12-2, and then I have another class from 2-3. So basically my teacher just broke down like, sheets we needed, the website, the class etc etc. After that was done (at 2) she took those of us that missed orientation to get our program package and stuff which was AWESOME because since she teaches our next class, we didnt have that class today. So we got to go early.
So here I am, in T building chillin until I have to go to work for 5. Which sucks. Because I feel so tired. Hahaha. But thats okay because its a "I did something constructive instead of sitting around doing nothing" kind of tired. Which is good. So now I get to go to work. Yipee.
THEN HOME TIME TO MY LOVING BED THAT I LOVE SO MUCH.

K so that was my first day. Maybe I'll tell you about my second day tomorrow!

-Kelso.

money, money, money.

I sometimes wonder what the point of anything is. That sounds really depressing, but that's not how I mean it. I mean it as, why do we need to do all of this stuff to be alive? Jobs, money, "luxuries", etc etc. That sounds stupid but I'm serious. A long time ago, people that were here didn't need any of that. We created it. What I'm saying is, why did we create any of it in the first place? You know how stupid that is? Everyday we trade pieces of paper for things we need to live. These pieces of paper allow certain people to have more & better things than other people. Why? Why was money invented in the first place? Lets say, in the beginning we discovered some sort of object or "product" that would benefit our lives. What I think is that money was just used so that only certain people were allowed to have whatever it was. This was the mistake, I think. Why can only certain people have these things? Shouldn't this object or whatever be available to all people that need it? Maybe money was created solely for a class system. Which angers me. Some of you are sitting there saying "Why do we need money? Well, it costs money to make these things. So that is why they are bought with money." No sense. Why does it cost money in the first place to make these things? "The equiptment etc" Why does it cost money for that too? It just doesn't make sense to me, we made everything so difficult. So complicated. Just to live under a roof there is 100 steps you have to go through. Just to make a meal, you need 100 things. To make money, you have to spend money. This makes NO sense to me. None what-so-ever. Anyways, I'm out of time, I'm going to the beach. I'll rant again later.

-Kelso.