Recently I have had major second thoughts. I have no idea what I want to do as a career & I feel lost. My main issue is school. Everyone around me seems to know exactly what they want with their life.. and I have absolutely no idea. Im terrified of ruining everything for myself. I'm taking this program that I thought I would enjoy but now I'm in it and I just don't like it. I don't look forward to school or clinical at all. I dislike clinical. I don't know what I expected this program to be but I honestly don't think its something I'm going to enjoy doing. So I don't know what the point is spending all this money and time on something I'm hating.. something I'm not going to use in my future. It makes no sense to me. So I'm stuck. I want to drop the course and figure out what I want to do. I want to work and save money and have my own place. In general I want to start fresh. Work, get a place, save for school.. you know. I just want to do something I know I'm going to love doing and right now, this isn't it. I don't want to leave school though.. I love seeing my friends all the time and I LOVE being in school. But I need to figure out what my best option would be at this point. So 2 minutes ago I talked to one of my friends, who will remain nameless. And felt stupid for how I am feeling.. I feel judged. They said I was just going to drop out and not finish something just because its hard.. And that Ive dropped out twice because it gets hard. Which isn't the reason at all.. I'm honestly really offended and hurt by what they said.. I left General Arts because of financial crap.. and right now I'm realizing I don't want this. This is another reason I don't want to quit the program. I'm scared of people judging me. I'm not stupid.. or scared of finishing something.. I just don't think it makes sense to stay in this program if I really don't enjoy what I'm doing.. doesn't that make sense? I just really need to think about things and figure shit out. I'm tired of this. Any advice, let me know.
-Kelso.
Kelsie...
ReplyDeleteDo what makes you happy. School might make you happy but this course does not. So you need to make a change. There is no hurry to finish school as long as you finish with something that makes you happy. You have to want to enjoy going to work because you do spend 1/3 of your life at work. Sad but true. It has always been my rule that if I am not happy in a job, I leave. I take what I have learned in that job and apply the lessons to other things in my life. Take what you can from school and get a fresh start. You can take the friends you have made, the discipline of being dedicated to something and the enjoyment of learning something new. And of course the gratification that at least you tried. Don't ever consider it a failure, it is a learning experience. You have learned that PSW is not for you..keep positive. At my age I still don't know what my niche is..so there's hope for you too! Love you lots and you will always have my support no matter what you become, even if you wind up at 49 not knowing where to go next. Just look for your next life lesson :) love ya BB!
First, i HATE reading your blog because truing to read something on black makes my eyes do weird things and the lighting of it is just not hot...lmao
ReplyDeleteSECONDLY, whoever this friend is is AWFUL. I see what they're saying but they didn't know as much as some people.
THIRDLY, your mom is right. It doesn't matter what people might think of you because they don't know the whole story. Do something YOU love to do and something you WANT to do. Doing something you don't like will be so much harder to achieve and excel in. You got to know PSW and it's not for you so move on. Maybe finish this year, drop it, take the year to work and save up money and promise yourself to get back into school the following year.
You'll figure it all out
-Allison
love you long time, i just dont want to leave school because i love learning stuff and seeing you guys but like.. i dont see the point in putting all this time and money into something i dont enjoy and arent going to use. ive started a plan. my plan is to drop the program so i can work a bunch, get my own place and save for school, something i really enjoy. honestly i dont care how long it takes me to finish school as long as i finish in something that makes me happy. i just feel like i need to start fresh, in every aspect, i think it will be good.
ReplyDelete