life & death.

Today, my uncle passed away. I just really feel the need to write about it. I honestly don't know what I'm going to write but I'll give it a shot. First of all, today also happens to be my mom's birthday. So happy birthday mom, I'm sorry this happened today but I love you. I've sat here crying for a good majority of the last 2 hours and I've realized a few things. First being that no matter how many times you are told to think of the good memories you have had with someone, it never makes it better until you have started to get over it. Honestly, thinking of those memories is just making me cry even more. I miss him. So much. Something else I have thought about is that people are generally ungrateful. I don't mean to be mean. I just mean it as a lot of things are taken for granted, including those close to us. We don't really realize it until something happens and they're gone. For those of you that are truly appreciative of the people you have in your life, I'm proud of you. Make sure you let them know how much they mean to you. Every single time you see them, no matter how annoyed they get. I feel like I don't, and didn't, do this enough. I don't really feel like the people you lose are really gone. Physically, yes, but I don't think that's what makes a person. I mean, yeah, a person is a physical thing I suppose, but I mean.. I don't even know how to explain what I just started. So I'll start again. I think they're still here. All around us. Always. I guess it makes it a little easier thinking about it in that perspective.. but I'm sure you've all lost someone close to you and can relate to how I'm feeling right now. I don't really think it has hit me fully yet.. Probably tomorrow at work it will. Excellent. Anyways, I've felt really alone lately, but today I've seen that I'm not really alone. There have been quite a few people that have been supportive and helpful today and I'm so grateful for that. Mildly off topic, it bothers me that some people are only a "friend" when something like this happens. Not that anyone is like that to me. It just came to my head. I feel like people do this just so they can stay in the "friend" category. You know, as long as they're there in extreme moments, then they must be a friend right? Wrong. Fuck you. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Anyways, back on topic. I find it strange (and very upsetting) that this occurred on my mom's birthday. I'm sorry mom, but I hope you had a wonderful day besides all of this. Death on a birthday.. makes me think. For the time being, it is making me feel a little better writing about this. Though I know that won't be the case when I go to bed, or for the next few days for that matter. So I'm sorry in advanced to anyone I'm rude to. I am unsure when the visitation or the funeral is right now.. But I'm sure I will make another post in the next few days to talk about how I'm doing. Right now, though, I'd like to talk about my uncle. My uncle Bob was an awesome dude (lol). I love him to pieces. My redneck uncle haha. I'm going to miss hanging in your antler-filled garage, shooting shotguns out back, and your humor. I'll miss you trying to kidnap my dog, your laugh, the things you used to talk about, your hugs, and when we used to go fishing. Even that one time with the headless chickens so many years ago haha. You had such a big heart and cared so much about us all. I'm just all-around going to miss you more than I can ever describe. I wish this didn't have to happen so soon. Love you forever & always. I hope you feel better now. Miss you. (L)

Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.